I don’t want to be friends with my friends anymore. I love them but they can be mean or annoying sometimes. I wish we could move past it but I think it has happened too many times and I just need new friends. But I am also afraid to leave because we have been friends for so long. Please send help :((

Hi Anonymous,

This feeling you’re feeling is terrible. I’ve felt it myself from time to time. It feels like there is no way out. But trust me, there is. 

If you haven’t done so already, tell them how you feel. Do so calmly and confidently. Don’t let them convince you your feelings are wrong. If they give a genuine apology and vow to do better, maybe they are worth another shot. But if they deny their wrongdoings, try to blame you for their behavior, or consistently continue their bad behavior after their apology you’re right to bid them farewell. 

Tell them respectfully that you care about them, and always have, but recently spending time with them has not brought you joy like it used to. Tell them how they have made you feel and how you’re conversation didn’t change anything. You think it would be best for both of you if you started spending less time together.  

If they were ever really your friend, they will understand. They should care about what’s best for you, even if it’s not them. 

It will be hard at first. You should never feel bad about spending time alone. Some time to spend deep in your own thought is incredibly valuable!

And if new friends come slowly, don’t worry. Try expanding your pool a little bit if you feel especially isolated. Maybe take up an activity that isn’t at school. It’s a great way to find people you may never have met.  You will make new, better friends. 

You’re going to get through this,

Earl Grey