My friends bully and exclude me. What should I do?

Dear Sipper #3,

High school can be a tough time for friendships. Everyone is just trying to survive and sometimes people put others down so they can climb higher on the social ladder and try to make themselves feel better. If they are excluding you sometimes, you can salvage the friendship by simply telling them that you feel left out. They might not even know what they are doing. If the bullying is jokes that they think are funny and harmless but are actually hurting your feelings, you could bring it up to them and explain that even though they think it’s funny it’s gone too far. On the other hand, if they are bullying you on purpose, you could still try and talk to them but a lot of times the smartest idea might be to get yourself out of the situation. It’s hard to change friendships but it might be the safest and smartest idea. According to the Ethicist of the New York Times, if you’re scared that they could retaliate against you for letting them know that they hurt you, it could be helpful to share what you’re going through with a couple of close friends to have support. Then, you might not feel so alone when you talk to them. If all else fails, you can always talk to a trusted adult. If you don’t feel at home in your friend group and you don’t feel valued, it might be time to look for greener pastures. Friendships change, all the time, you’re not alone, and you deserve better.

All of my friends are going to college! How will I survive?

Dear Sipper #4,

This is a common problem this time of year. Many people are dealing with separation, whether you’re going to college or all your friends are. The truth is, next year will be different, and that is scary. Any change is scary but with change comes new opportunities, new friends, and new experiences. According to the New York Times, “The way to stay stable through the process of change is by changing, at least to some extent. If you want to hold your footing, you’ve got to keep moving.” It seems super intimidating to have to go through next year without the people you’ve known all your life but it actually might be easier than you think. If your main worry is all your friends leaving for college, high school is a great place to meet people and try new things. If you aren’t already in some, join clubs for things you’re interested in or for something brand new at next year’s club fair. Clubs are an amazing way to meet people who have similar interests and to make new friends. That in mind, meeting new friends doesn’t mean replacing old ones. You can always plan to visit friends while they’re away and keep in contact with them. Change can be intimidating, but it’s never something you can’t handle!