Last night, I sat down in front of my computer, one hand on the cup of coffee I promised my dad I wouldn’t drink, the other on my mouse. I took a deep breath, prepared myself for the inevitable cringe that would seize my face at the sound of the intro – “Hi I’m John Green and this is Cra-ash Course U.S. History” – and moved my cursor towards play, when something in the sidebar caught my eye. Crash Course Bloopers. And the internal dialogue began.

No, don’t click on it. Come on, you have to click on it. No, don’t. But I have to. No. Yessssss.

Two hours, three blooper reels, seven Ted Talks later, and I’m right back where I began: nowhere.

I spend a lot of time thinking “what if.” What if I didn’t procrastinate? What if I wasn’t sleep-deprived? What if I didn’t stress out? Wouldn’t I be better off? I assume I would.

But would I?

We assume that there are shadows in our lives: procrastination, sleep-deprivation, stress. We assume that these shadows hold us back, that we would be better off without them.

But would we?

I spend a lot of time thinking “what if.” But I spend more time thinking “maybe.” Maybe if I didn’t procrastinate, I wouldn’t spend time doing what I want to do instead of what I should do. Maybe if I only did what I should do, I wouldn’t be happy. Maybe I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Maybe there is a bright side to the shadows. I think there is a bright side.

Rhinebeck Reality’s first-ever podcast, Downside Up, is an attempt to look on the bright side of this dark world. Jonah Carleton and I will be hosting it.

In case you don’t know him, Jonah Carleton is a discerning, striped-t-shirt-wearing junior who is optimistic only in sarcasm. (I joke that his voice is like an onion, cloaked in Seven Layers of Sarcasm, with the power to make anyone cry – usually, hopefully from laughter.)

I am an expressionless, black-turtle-neck-clad junior who finds comfort in cynicism.

Needless to say, looking on the bright side will be a challenge for both of us, but an interesting one.

Both Jonah and I are master procrastinators, daylight sleepwalkers, neurotic teenagers. We are in no position to offer advice. But we can offer what we hope is more helpful, more interesting than advice: a fresh perspective.

You can follow our challenge to look on the bright side, to find this fresh perspective on Downside Up, premiering February in the next online edition of Rhinebeck Reality.