Earl Grey,

My boyfriend’s mother invited me to stay for dinner last week. I was a little embarrassed to tell her I am a vegetarian, as his family eats meat. I assured his mom that I could eat whatever she was serving, except the meat. She like many other people assumed that I eat fish. She had gone out of her way to make me a piece of salmon. I felt so bad I almost ate it, but i just couldn’t do it. This veggie girl doesn’t eat anything with a face or eyes. Was I rude to not eat the fish? What should I have said or done in this situation to not have been rude? I want his mom to like me. Please hook me up with some sage advice to use should I ever be invited to dinner again.

Sincerely, Veggie Girl

Hi Veggie Girl,

Thank you so much for your letter!

I first want to assure you that were not rude in the slightest. You should be able to stick to your values, no matter who you’re dining with. But that being said, with that right comes a small amount of responsibility. You must educate your host about your restrictions as soon as possible and in as much depth as you see fit. Preferably contact you host at least a day in advance next time so if they need to make a grocery run they can.

If you forget or you tell them and they ignore you and you are left with a 30 oz T-bone or full trout, be gracious with your host. Kindly remind them what you don’t eat, but still compliment their meal and thank them for all the work they put into it.

And always remember you are probably not nearly as embarrassed as your host, especially if you told them in advance and they forgot. But no matter what you are served, the purpose of a meal is to connect with those you are eating (or kindly refusing) with. Just continue being the gracious, competent, respectful dinner guest I know you are veggie girl!

Bon appetit,

Earl Grey